FIVE THINGS EVERY WOMAN PRAYS YOU KNOW BEFORE SHE TAKES YOU HOME
Let’s be honest: Every man wants to believe that he is incredible in bed (as do women). You want the sense of accomplishment in knowing that when you roll yourself over for the classic post-sex “Was it good for you?,” your partner’s resounding “YES” was 100% the real deal.
Unfortunately for men, women are often much better at handing out empty compliments like “job well done” than we are at offering constructive criticism, meaning that you could be walking around with that extra swagger in your step without any idea of what your partner is really thinking.
Don’t get me wrong, women certainly shoulder some of the blame. Many ladies grow up believing “My Prince will come (and so will I!)” What they fail to realize is that, while you truly WANT to make us come, you might not know how to get us there. You don’t have a map, you don’t know the directions. Some of you don’t even have the address!
OK, so you’re not mind readers! If you really want to knock it out of the park, sexually speaking, allow us to offer a little insight. Here are five things women wish men knew about their pleasure…
1. THE BRAIN IS THE LARGEST SEX ORGAN
If you really want to please a woman, you’ve got to move from top to bottom. While your genitals are pretty much running the show from the first suggestion of sexual activity, your partner needs a little more stimulation above the belt to get her there. No, I’m not talking about her breasts (although those could use some love too!) I’m referring to her big sexy brain.
The largest sex organ for a woman is her mind, so that is where the action should start. Words are aphrodisiacs for many women, especially when those words are chock full of affirmations that fill her need to feel sexy and desired. If you really want to wow your partner, paint a verbal picture of all the things you want to do to her by whispering in her ear. This has both physical and mental appeal – your warm breath on her ears will send chills down her spine, while your hot words speak to her sexual desire.
2. IT’S ALL ABOUT THE CLITORIS
Here’s an alarming but true fact: most women do not regularly orgasm from intercourse alone. So while you’re pounding her vagina like a jar with a lid that just won’t open, you’re completely missing the key to her orgasm. I get it, you’re a man. You don’t ASK for directions, so I’ll give you a hint: it’s hidden in plain sight, right ABOVE the doorway you’ve been knocking at.
The clitoris may not look like much, but don’t be fooled by its appearance. That little love button houses 8,000 nerve endings (twice as many as the head of the penis), making it your new best friend. During foreplay, try stroking the area around the clitoris before rubbing it gently in a circular motion with your index and middle finger. If you’re not sure how she likes to be touched, have her show you herself! Once you become comfortable with speed and pressure, feel free to explore it with your mouth and tongue. And since somewhere around 75% of women actually require clitoral stimulation to orgasm, you’re going to want to pay close attention to it during your favorite sex positions as well.
3. TAKE IT SLOOOW
Patience is key when it comes to pleasing a woman, but most dudes are all about instant gratification. You want to skip the previews and go straight for the feature film, but here’s a secret: Women NEED the previews. We rely on the previews to help us get turned on and revved up for the main event. So say it with me, guys: “Foreplay is not a suggestion. It is a requirement.”
If you have any hope of giving your lover a standing O-vation, you need to slow everything down when it’s time get down. In fact, a good rule of thumb is to go three times slower than you usually would. Prolong the make out sessions, slowly undress her and get to know those other erogenous zones before you delve into her nether regions. Women are more like slow cookers, than frying pans so when you’re brushing up on your foreplay skills remember that the best sex comes to those who wait.
4. DON’T FEAR THE VIBRATOR
Admit it: You love gadgets. From your FitBit to your electric razor to your Apple TV, you are a huge fan of anything that can simplify your life and makes you look and feel good while doing it. So why would you shy away from a gadget that can make sex twice as satisfying for both you and your partner with half the effort?
No woman on record has ever left her guy for a battery-operated boyfriend, so it’s time to ditch the stereotypes you’ve heard about using sex toys in the bedroom and embrace your partner’s goodie drawer. As much as she loves her Magic Wand Rechargeable, she will love the feeling of it pressed against her clitoris with you inside of her even more! Plus, who said sex toys were just for her? A couples’ vibrator like the We-Vibe 4 Plus lets you both enjoy a range of vibration patterns, and can actually be worn during sex! Research shows that using toys in the bedroom can actually bring you closer together, provide more orgasms all around and effortlessly enhance your sex life.
5. WE LIKE IT WET
Whoever said “wetter is better” was absolutely talking about the benefits of lube. Lubricant is the most underrated resource, yet it holds the key to enhancing sexual pleasure! Still, many men still balk when a partner pulls a bottle out of her nightstand. Is she “dried up”? Does she have a hormone imbalance? Am I *gasp* not turning her on?
While it’s true that lubricant becomes especially important for women who produce less naturally, or for women experiencing low libido, the fact is that lube is a fantastic sexual tool for everyone to use. Research shows that women who use lubricant regularly, whether during sex or masturbation, reported higher levels of overall sexual satisfaction and actually enjoyed sex more. All that slipping and sliding makes sex more fluid and can help you both reach orgasm that much faster, no matter what the weather’s like downstairs. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t doing your part, so relax and enjoy the ride.