Speed dating is the answer.
When you attend our events here at Singles Events Melbourne, you are entering into a safe zone. You know that everyone is within the age bracket of the event, you know everyone is single and you know that they have purchased a ticket to meet you. People attending our events have already made a time commitment and a financial commitment. They see value in this process which is why they have chosen to take part.
The online world.
For starters, online dating is complete bullshit. Thought you should know.. People online only show you what they want you to see. It’s completely deceiving! If they want you to think they are fitness people, they will continuously talk about fitness and upload fitness related pictures like gym pics, gym clothes, food pics, health shakes etc. Remember that people choose what they post on social media and online dating websites for a reason. People also time their updates too so don’t think for a second that anything is accidental. Perception is everything; especially in the world of social media. In terms of perception, we all have an ideal self. We all wish to maximize our careers, our profession, and aspire to be like those who we find most successful. No one wants to be a loser, everyone wants to be a #winner and “this is the light I want you to see me in” even though this is just an illusion in so many cases and NOT an accurate representation of who they really are. So when someone has sold you this idea of such an amazing person and you then hit them up and meet that person in real life, you are completely disappointed in what you see! This confident, out going, live life to the fullest person you were shown online, is really a shallow, negative, chauvinistic, loudmouth idiot that lied to you and this happens time and time again. See why online dating is bullshit? Or anything online for that matter.
But not only that, you are partly to blame here!
You see with online, your mind fills in the missing gaps. As someone is writing to you, you imagine what their voice sounds like, what they may smell like, their mannerisms, their height, everything! You mind is doing that right now about me as you are reading this! It’s not your fault, it’s just what we do. Your mind fills in the blanks. That’s why watching films can be easy because our minds fills in the gaps and helps the story move along no matter how improbable the story line is.
The video below is an example of how easily your mind can play tricks on you!
You see you didn’t realise the couch was out of place and slightly warped did you? Or the poster was completely warped in comparison to a vertical line? When he entered the room, you mind accepted that everything was normal to help move things along.
As research suggests, your “real self” is what you are – your attributes, your characteristics, and your personality. Your “ideal self” is what you feel you should be; much of it due to societal and environmental influences. From a societal standpoint, many of us are driven by competition, achievement, and status; hence, the online creation and portrayal of our ideal selves only. We’re not saying everyone is a liar. We’re saying that people can manipulate your perception of who they really are by picking and choosing what they show you. You see you can’t do that in real life. Basically anyone online can manipulate who they are with ease. The messed up thing is they might not even know they are doing it!
The real life world.
There is no hiding, no preparing and nothing is fake or staged. Everything is raw and organic. Just as it should be.
In real life, you get to see people and meet them face to face. You get to see how they are responding to you when you speak. You get to see their mannerisms, their body positions and whether they are looking in your eyes when you are telling a story. Body language, pheromones, attention, smells, vocal tone, you get to experience it all! You do not get any of that via online dating which includes other superficial dating apps like tinder.
In real life, there is a process that must be done in order to have a date. There are now things you must do which creates value to the process. You organise a time, you schedule that in your week, you organise a restaurant or bar, you shower (one would hope), you get dressed, you put on some nice smells, you tidy the house a little in case the date gets hot, you leave the house to meet your date. There is effort required and time is needed so there is now more value to this meeting and it is not easily discarded. We have explained this process to so many people only to have them say “I CBF”.. Well, that’s also fine! Go and enjoy your CBF single life and while you are enjoying it, please stop complaining about it!
With online, there is no value whatsoever. You could be taking a crap on the toilet whilst looking for a date using tinder. Sorry are we being too vulgar? Well snap out of it princess and don’t get upset with us! This is reality and if you are using online dating services and apps, this is exactly what is happening whether you like it or not. Hmpf! One of the terrible things about online dating such as tinder is that you could be chatting away with someone nice (they may be on the toilet by the way.. just saying..) and as soon as you say something even slightly weird, you can be blocked then replaced by a secondary swipe. Most likely the next day whilst on the toilet again. People say they want something different but then as soon as you show that your personality deviates from the norm, it gets translated as “you are a weirdo” and that’s the end of that! The point is there is no value to this process whatsoever. The art of courtship nowadays is literally, in the toilet.
With online, it’s “ideal self” vs “real self”. My “ideal self” is confident, controlled emotions, accepts everyone and thinks everyone is perfect the way they are. My “real self” however is a little frightened of the world and prefers that you are just normal please. Nothing too out there, 5ft 10, home owner, no kids, pays me attention me, me..
Now go and delete your online dating profiles because they are getting you nowhere in life.
Attend our events instead!