1. BE OPEN MINDED
“Don’t assume we’re going to the nicest restaurant in the city because I won’t take you there. I’ll take you to a dive bar with amazing burgers to see how you react. If you’re flowing with it and cool, we’ve got a winner. If you seem offended by it, that’s as far as we go.”
—Steve M.
2. DON’T OVER RESEARCH
“Girls should try to avoid pre-judging before a first date. Whether it’s someone you’re meeting online or it’s someone your friends know, aim to drop the things you know about them and start fresh. Don’t ask your friends to tell you everything they can because you can end up with a tainted view of what to expect. Half the fun of going out is getting to know someone new, so allow yourself to let that happen organically.”
—Oliver B.
3. CHECK YOUR BAGGAGE
“Don’t compare us to your exes—out loud or even in your head. Sometimes horror stories about them can make for fun discussion, but don’t ever bring your ex into the conversation if it’s not called for. When I hear about a girl’s man, I’m assuming we probably shouldn’t be on that date period. If she literally can’t keep his name out of her mouth for a couple of hours, it makes me feel like she’s clearly not over past issues. I don’t want to pick up a saved video game: I’m here to start new.”
—Orlando O.
4. IT PAYS TO PAY (OR AT LEAST ATTEMPT TO)
“I always appreciate the offer to split the check, even though I never allow it. If we end up grabbing drinks later and a woman insists on paying, I really like that a lot. It shows me that she’s genuinely interested in spending time with me as opposed to wanting to be wined and dined regardless of who she’s with.”
—Nate N.
5. DON’T RECOIL IF HE DOESN’T REACH FOR THE BILL
“If the guy doesn’t say something and take the check off the table to pay, it’s probably fair to assume that you’re going Dutch. There are different reasons that a guy might not pick up the tab (some that might not have anything to do with you), but if you’re into him, avoid looking too disappointed. You don’t want him to think you expected it.”
—Josh F.
6. YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT
“The food you choose on dates says volumes about your character. Dainty foods (read: salads) seem to have a low correlation to fun and enjoyment. First few dates, make the food good, simple and completely forgettable so you can focus on each other.”
—Max S
7. KNOW YOU’RE AWESOME
“I like a girl to be confident going into a date, even if it’s the first one. The normal guy-girl interactions on initial outings usually fall somewhere between awkward and reallyawkward (which is understandable, especially if it’s a blind date), so having a girl go the opposite route not only makes her more intriguing—it’s also a total turn-on.”
—Alex S.
8. BE HONEST
“Say what you mean. Girls have this tendency of expecting guys to read between the lines, then ending up disappointed. If you want something, be specific and avoid causing yourself unnecessary stress. We’re usually pretty open to new ideas.”
—Adrian B.
9. DON’T JUMP TO (SEXUAL) CONCLUSIONS
“Don’t critique or be too harsh about someone’s sexual performance the first time you hook up with him. Things are new and you aren’t familiar with what the other likes yet. Until you’ve had time to communicate about that stuff, it’s impossible to weigh them against your former boyfriend of three years.”
—Greg B
10. KEEP THE FIRST DATE SHORT AND SWEET
“First dates are best kept quick and noncommittal for both parties—unless you’ve known each other for a while. If I meet a girl and get her number, the first time we go out shouldn’t be a three-hour opera and dinner afterwards. What if we end up not liking each other? Then we’re just stuck and that’s rude. Opt for something that gives you both an easy out, like lunch or a drink. If you guys have a great time, you’re both left wanting more.”
—Rick T
11. THINK LIKE A MAN
“If a girl and I end up hooking up quickly, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’ve written her off. All she needs to do to maintain my interest and be awesome. Be interesting and interested in me. Plan cool events. For example, ‘Hey, I’ve got an extra ticket to this show tonight. Want to go?’ Go out and do things I’d want to do, and then invite me. Chances are I’ll probably join you. Be willing to embrace the things men love.”
—Sam M.
12. SPEAK UP
“I get frustrated when I feel like I’m constantly the one driving the conversation—it happens to me a lot and it feels a little unfair. It’s hard to get the sense that I’m getting to know someone when I’m tasked with doing all the talking. On the flip side though, it’s a rough night when a girl goes on about herself at length without asking me anything about myself. I like it best when someone can counter me with questions of their own.”
—Noah A
13. DON’T TALK SMACK
“Don’t hate on other girls. I actually had one girl, while we were in the middle of a conversation, look over at another girl and say, ‘Eww, look at that girl’s dress.’ The way she said it sounded so bitchy and I wasn’t into it at all. Cattiness isn’t an attractive quality.”
—Nick L.
14. GIVE THANKS
The guy will almost always hold the door open, pay for dinner, etc., but it’s still nice to hear a thank you and know that it’s all appreciated. It really goes a long way. I’ve almost come to stop expecting them so it’s especially nice when I hear them. If it doesn’t happen in the beginning, he’ll think it’ll never happen.”
—Tyler L.
15. GET FRIENDLY
“It can take the edge off to meet with a group of friends. Invite your guy and his crew to hang in a big group. That way you can get a feel for what he’s normally like around his buddies and it’ll let you both relax a bit more. You can tell a lot about someone by who they surround themselves with.”
—Corey O.
16. REACH OUT. LITERALLY
“I like when a girl gets physical with me, but not in the sexual sense. It’s more in an affectionate way. I love when she’ll touch my arms or something like that as we’re talking. It lets me know she’s interested without being over the top and shows me we’re both there for the same reason. We like each other and it’s clear.”
—Stephen S.